Shalom Rav the Blog of Rabbi Avram Rothman

Shopper’s Heaven may Not be What You Expected

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 07:43:11 -0500

There are those who like to shop and there are those who just cannot stand it.

I have to admit, for the most part, I enjoy it. For the most part, I enjoy searching out just that perfect item, for a gift or for myself, at the perfect price.

Yet, even among those of us who enjoy the "hunt" of shopping, there are some people who have really made it into a science. They really enjoy it, maybe even are somewhat addicted to it, but, at least for today, let us just say that they really enjoy shopping.

Even those people, the one's who find shopping a form of "comfort activity", as well as those who just find it interesting, we all agree that in the West, society has made shopping into something beyond a pastime, even more than a sport, perhaps we might be so bold as to say it is a religion.

Religions have their rituals, shopping certainly does as well. Religions have their holidays and this time of year shows us all quite clearly that shopping, made into a religion also has its holidays.

First, I found it somewhat crass when the US started taking, let us say, minor holidays and marking them, rather than spending time with their family, rather by creating enormous sales.

A holiday created to give honour to the Unions and the case of the working man- Labor Day- is now known as the Labour Day Sale, President's Day, originally marking the birth of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln due more to swapping dollar bills with their photos on them, than to acknowledging the debit America has to them.

Then, if that is not enough, if turning all of the statutory holidays into "must shop" days was not enough, they created special holidays designed specifically and purposefully to shop.

This time of year we see it clearly, Black Friday becomes Cyber Monday and in the near future it will be become a three day shopping feast.

There is no corrupting of holidays to reinvent them as special days of shopping, now it has further changed into inventing the holiday itself!

Of course, we are just less than one month from the King of all shopping days, the ruler of discounts, the patron saint of the shopping mall- Boxing day.
OK, Boxing day is a real holiday, but I have no idea what it is. For most of us it is a day off work when one can get up very early, wait in line and pray to the god of all sales!

Stores open at midnight, parking lots overflow and people stand in line to offer up their cash to the god of deals.

Certainly Boxing day is the most amazing day of them all. Here, the world has just finished spending great amounts of money for gifts, that for the most part, the received does not want and the giver is burdened into giving.

Whomever among us has money left or room on their credit card will participate in the rituals of the Boxing Day services.

To add to it, each year we hear more and more about the zealous behavior of some people who become quite aggressive as the prostrate themselves before the goddess of clearance.

We have heard of stampedes, seriously injuring and even killing store employees not smart enough to get out of the way of stampeding customers.

This year we read about a woman who pepper sprayed people near her, so she can acquire just that perfect gift at the best price.

We have created a cult of shopping and the mall as it's Temple.

Kids hang out at the mall, retirees sit in the food court playing chess, mothers parade their babies through the crowds screaming for the ice cream or popcorn just coincidentally placed in the centre of the aisle.

The money that the ancients spent on temples to their gods, pales to the money we spend our our malls. The excitement and thrill that the people of olden times felt as they swayed intensely in prayer to their deity is nothing compared to the annual sale of Tiffany's or the return of Bay Days!

Each year as the malls open earlier, stay light up even later and fill the halls with the songs designed to encourage one to buy more, save less and make everyone from the paper boy to the Sobey's clerk happy with that perfect gift!

The Talmud argued about participation in the pagan rituals so common in earlier times during this month, but today those pagan rituals have been replaced by our own prostration before the "two for one" idol of consumerism.

What is all of this saying to us?

What is it saying to our children?

Kidding aside, we live in a time that shopping has grown from a necessity to an obsession and from a few hours in search of the right gift to days fighting the hordes of people jockeying in line to get to the cash register faster.

As hard as it is, it is appropriate for us all to take a step back, take a soothing breath and think about how we have allowed, how we have participated in turning holidays of gratitude into the search for discounts and the pursuit of spirituality into the pursuit of the perfect gift.

There is no question that, in a sense, the West has made the acquiring of "things" into a religion, the area mall into a Temple and the Thursday Liberal into the bible of good deals.

With holidays becoming commercialized, with the pressure we all feel to give gifts and the desire we crave for a discount, it is increasingly difficult for anyone to keep their priorities straight. Shopping is a necessity for a better life, it is not that the purpose of life is to get that perfect deal.

No matter what we say, we are effected by our surroundings. We feel the pressure to be a part of the spirit. The music, as bland as it is, is captivating, the lights blinking attract the eye and we want to be a part of the fun.

Yet, we have to remember, especially now as we enter the season of the god of discounts, the deity of deals and the idol of BOGO (buy one get one free), that life is greater than all this. That happiness does not come from overspending, that their is no "Joy to the World" by becoming a part of the movement to turn every significant day into another "sale".

The sad thing about it all is that there is so much more to life than just getting something on sale, we just need to remember how important it is to not allow ourselves to sink to a level that turns our very soul into a reason to buy more.

As I said, I am one of those rare men who actually enjoys shopping. Yet, I have to remind myself that shopping is a means to an end, it is not the goal.

As we all live through the Ho, Ho, Ho of December, it will serve us all well to keep in mind what our real priorities are.
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The Brotherhood's Chanukah Cafe Chevra Coffee House will be on December 17, after Shabbat. It features an amazing Cirque D'Soliel Performer, Great food and maybe even the Chailanders will show up!

The Brotherhood has a short survey that they would appreciate your taking a moment or two to fill out.

Join the TCS & the YU Kollel on December 11 for a Sunday morning Pre-Chanukah Workshop with Breakfast. All welcome.

Young Couples & Families are invited to a special Saturday Night Event for Chanukah on December 24.

The Ginzburg Learning Centre is running in full swing now. Take a look at the special section of the website for a list of classes. They are coming out so quickly we can almost not keep up with them!

A few to consider among the many excellent choices:

First, on Monday evenings at 9:00 we are truly privileged to have Rabbi Eliezer Breitowitz give his weekly Parsha class. I have to admit, I do not know of a finer Parsha class anywhere in the city.

It is creative, deep, practical and there is always a bit of humor. If you have the opportunity, come out a give it a try.

On Tuesday evenings at 8:00 we have an amazing class for women using the commentary of the Malbim on Bereishit. Give it a try.

Wednesday is my Practical Parsha class for women at 10:00 AM. Come for an hour of practical Torah.

For women who are available, it is a great opportunity to hear a number of very practical D'var Torahs on the Parsha. This class has been on for years. Come try it out.

Book Signing, Reading & Reception this Sunday!

We are very proud of our members and we are proud of Andrea Nathanson who wrote a very inspiring book. We will have a book signing/ reception December 4.

This Saturday Night we continue our Saturday Night Father - Child Learning Program. It starts at the new time of 7:30 PM and will offer Pizza, prizes & an opportunity to learn!

If "father" is not available, come by anyways and be a part of it! Remember- Rabbi Greenspan is leading this- so it has to be great!

Unity Shabbat is coming for Shabbat Chanukah and we have Rabbi Mordechai Torcyzner coming to speak for us. Oh, don;t forget a special Chanukah Kiddush!

See you in Shul!

The Nazi Dog who Appreciated Classical Music

Sun, 6 Nov 2011 12:01:36 -0500

I recently read a story that was found in the testimony of a woman who was at Aushwitz. She was leaving her history as a survivor for her family and others to save and her comments were so moving, that I wanted to express my feelings on it.

She told the story how she had been a renowned violinist in Berlin, somewhat of a child prodigy, she blossomed into a very talented, accomplished and sought after first violin for different symphonies in western Europe during the 1930s.

Of course, as the winds of war and the spirit of antisemitism increased across Europe she lost her position and was sent to the infamous concentration and death camp.

Upon arrival she was recognized by the “Angel of Death” himself, Josef Mengele, and was singled out from the selection lines to remain alive, but to do so as the provider of beautiful music to Dr Mengele and his top officers.

The doctor pushed this world-famous violinist to play many long, hard hours and to practice very difficult pieces so that she could entertain him.

At the same time, the doctor trained a German Shepard dog to sit across from her and, whenever she made an error in the music to bite her. The doctor was cultured, desiring to be involved in the finest and most sophisticated arts and her violin playing a great asset to him and his officers.

He actually was able to train his dog to hear how the music should be and whenever it deviated from the original score, the dog would attack her.

Among the officers the doctor was considered to be so sophisticated, so genteel and cultured that even his dog had a good ear.

Dr Mengele believed that a truly cultured person, an educated, advanced and evolved person should be taught to have a true appreciation for the arts; be they visual, live or aural- music.

He portrayed the role of the high cultured, well mannered and genteel German officer and gentleman and her music was a part of the life of such a person.

She noted, how amazing it was to have a room full of cultured lovers of classical music, men and women who spoke in hushed tones, who dressed impeccably from head to toe, who never cursed, who appreciated the arts and were disciplined, sophisticated members of polite society.

Yet, at the same time, these people were murderers, violent killers, sadistic torturers of women and children, corrupted scientists who used their education to torture prisoners and trained a dog to bite the same musician who provided the music they so loved whenever an error was made.

How is it she pondered, that these members and leaders of polite society can be, at the same time, animalistic, sadistic and cruel in a manner beyond imagination? How could the dedicated doctor seem to be blissfully appreciating her music, an expression of his upbringing, culture and role in polite society; while training a dog to violently bite a human being whenever an error in the music occurred?

How is it possible for the same person to be so cultured and educated while being totally sadistic and cruel? The two personalities do not seem to be possible in the same person.

Yet, here is was. Not only was the notorious Dr Mengele this way, but here she played in a room full of German officers who sat together appreciating the subtleties in her music, dressed well, drinking fine and rare wine and without an inkling of care would have the dog take a bite out of her arm or leg right in front of them.

The answer I believe is easily found in the concept that in some ways, people are animals. They can allow themselves to be crude, cruel and violent.

Equally, people are angels- spiritual, intellectual, caring, sophisticated and cultured.

What makes human beings unique in the world is that we have within us the desire to be like animals; thinking only of our own pleasure at any cost and equally we have the desire to rise above it all and create a just, moral, beautifully aesthetic society.

The most genteel, sophisticated people in the 1930s was certainly those in German society. They appreciated classical dancing, beautifully subtle and complicated pieces of symphonic music and fine art.

Yet, when scratched, when pushed a bit, underneath was a monster who could appreciate fine music when, at the same time, the musician was being terrorized by a dog who would bite and attack at any time.

This trait was found in such people as Idi Amin, Quadafi, Hitler and many of the most savage, cruel dictators the world has ever seen.

How was it and how is it possible?

It is possible because without a moral compass, an understanding of ultimate truth and morality a person can and will use his power to destroy under the guise of being cultured and kind.

This ultimate truth, the moral compass I refer to is the Torah. It is the source to the world of what truly is wrong and what is correct- moral, just, correct.
Is it acceptable to pick a race or type of human and torture them? If they are Jews, perhaps. How about gender? Women may be allowed to be forced to conform to the will of the male and so on…… When?

When human beings decide what is right, when they decide who has human rights and who does not, when they legislate and enforce laws that single our a particular religion or race they show how easily it is to be a “man of culture” and at the same time be a cruel murderer.

It is the Torah, the ultimate developer of eternal morality, our true and everlasting justice that takes a person who appears to be sophisticated and cultured and makes them truly sophisticated & cultured.

The Torah brings eternal justice, morality and tolerance to a world that, too often, has allowed itself to have a facade of being kind, genteel and cultured when just beneath the skin is cruel, prepared to rape, murder and torture.

German culture, as advanced, accepting and appreciative of the arts as it was, had morals that considered Jews & many others to be sub-human, without even a right to live.

Dr Mengele was living proof that one can dress like a gentleman, but without true, just and eternal morals and laws, one can easily be a blood thirsty animal in human form and appreciate the arts. He can hear sublime music and not be bothered by the tortured screams of the musician being bitten for an off note.

The Torah’s concept of a person being “the same inside as outside” and its moral compass assists and raises a person to become the genteel, sophisticated person that they want to be. History have proven once and again, however, that only with Torah could we accomplish this.

Without Torah, human beings easily can live a facade, “the world is a stage and we are all actors”, not even noticing how truly incongruous we are when we dress and act like loving, caring, cultured people and at the same time, have no hesitation to abuse, torture, even destroy people less powerful than we.

This woman’s sad story, is one that teaches us all of the importance of our own Torah observance and how we can influence the world to make it a better, moral and just place. A place where society will promote culture, beauty and morals, a society that encourages respect, culture & justice.

History has shown that it is only with the Torah that this can be accomplished. Less than that, we will continue to have a world that will not wonder how it is that a well educated medical doctor could torture, experiment and kill people and consider himself to be a gentleman a thinking member of society, as it was in Germany.

They will wonder about it. But, they won’t answer it, unless, of course, they are peering deeply into the Torah to receive the answer, the answer that will demand us all to be the same cultured person inside as we are outside.
The Ginzburg Learning Centre is running in full swing now. Take a look at the special section of the website for a list of classes. They are coming out so quickly we can almost not keep up with them!

A few to consider among the many excellent choices:

First, on Monday evenings at 9:00 we are truly privileged to have Rabbi Eliezer Breitowitz give his weekly Parsha class. I have to admit, I do not know of a finer Parsha class anywhere in the city. It is creative, deep, practical and there is always a bit of humor. If you have the opportunity, come out a give it a try.

We also have a new women’s class that expects the student to prepare and work at the material. On Tuesday evenings at 8:00 we have an amazing class for the women using the commentary of the Malbim on the book of Bereishit. For the women- give it a try.

Wednesday morning is my Practical Parsha class for women at 10:00 AM. For women who are available, it is a great opportunity to hear a number of very practical D’var Torahs on the Parsha. This class has been on for years. Come try it out.

We are starting our Wednesday Night Kollel program with the Thornhill Community Kollel. Here is information. Come on out for a great evening of learning text. Followed by a late Maariv minyan.

We are about two weeks away from our very successful Father/Child learning program for Saturday night after Shabbat. Come by to learn, hear a story, have Pizza and win prizes.

A great way to make use of Saturday night and still have time to enjoy it afterwards as well. Here is the flyer. By the way, we are fortunate to have Rabbi Raphi Greenspan return to oversee this program that was such a success last year.

We are rapidly approaching the special Shabbaton with Sara Yocheved Rigler. She will be speaking for women at an Oneg Shabbat at the Froom’s home, a class after Musaf in the Shul, a special women’s Sholosh Seudot and to top it off, a women’s Melave Malka at Miriam Rothman’s home.

The entire Shabbaton is sponsored by women, led by women and for women. So, I want to encourage all of the women to come out and have a great Shabbaton.

We are pleased to be reorganizing two special committees is the Shul:

First, the Brotherhood has two chairpeople. Elliott Katz & Abe Blinick have taken the role of co-chairs and a meeting is scheduled for Sunday, November 13 at 8:00 PM. For information on the Brotherhood and more importantly, to play a role- please join us for this meeting.

A very important meeting is scheduled for this Monday, November 7! This is to reconstitute the Youth Committee. The Youth Committee, which is being organized by Stephen Beker and Dalya Rothman will be setting the tone and implementing a program for the TCS Youth that fits the needs and desire of our membership.

If you have children, come on out to the meeting. We want to hear from you, constructive criticism is always a good thing, so if you have ideas, comments or want to make a difference in one of the most important parts of our community- come to the Youth Committee Meeting on Monday, November 7, 8:00 PM.

All Together Now

Wed, 12 Oct 2011 07:49:49 -0400

There are many different ideas discussed about the holiday of Sukkot, but unquestionably it is clear that a thread runs through every aspect of the holiday from the Lulav & Esrog to the Sukkah itself and from the seventy sacrifices offered to the special celebration surrounding the “ritual pouring of the water” in the Temple. The message threaded throughout the holiday is that of “unity”.

The idea of unity among the Jews, different types, different customs, different levels of religious observance and knowledge striving to unify into a cohesive whole. Unity does not demand uniformity, for Judaism acknowledges and even celebrates the diversity of opinion and practice that makes up the Jewish people.

The unity we strive for requires respect, tolerance, affection and acceptance of the differences all brought together for a singular purpose of one people, one Gd, one Torah. As the Torah states, “bring us all together to follow the will of the Al-mighty.

On Sukkot, it actually goes even further, in addition to the great task of uniting the Jewish people we also see the concept of uniting humankind. The offering of sacrifices throughout the holiday on behalf of the seventy original nations of the world represents a goal of uniting all people, all different & diverse, to create a world of peace, unity and understanding Gd.

The Esrog & Lulav bring together four very different objects for the purpose of uniting them in the service of Gd, the Sukkah fits as many people as possible into the “world within a world” and our prayer for water requests not too much and not too little water for the entire world.

Following the intense period of judgement, we Jews enter Sukkot with a feeling of joy and everyone knows, when we are happy, we want everyone to be happy. For example, when I have a simcha, I want everyone to come and everyone to be happy.

If I am happy the world should also be happy. Contrast that with a person who is sad or depressed, such a person hides, goes by him or herself and isolates themselves from the rest of the world.

On Sukkot we are assured of a positive judgement and we are overjoyed.
Therefore, not only should I be happy, not only my family and friends should be happy and not only the Jews throughout the world should be happy- but everyone, every human being in the world should be happy.

HaShem blessed me with life, success and health. At a time like this, we all want that everyone should be blessed with such happiness and blessing.

Therefore the theme of unity permeates every part of Sukkot, we unify with our family, we unify with the Jewish people and we unify with the world.

Be it waving the Lulav in all six directions as a symbol of our wishing blessing to go to all and to everywhere or our sitting in the “Sukkah of Shalom”; of completion, of peace for all who wish to enter- we clearly see that the message underscoring the holiday is a message of unity, unity with diversity, but unity in the service of the Al-mighty & unity in the desire to benefit all the people of the world.

Certainly, when we sit in our Sukkah and we celebrate with our family, perhaps some of the following could be kept in mind:

1. Have I included some people in my Sukkah who either have not had an opportunity to be in a Sukkah or who may not have a family to celebrate with?

1. Am I mindful of being sure to be inclusive of others on Sukkot and equally being sure to not act in a divisive manner (by what I do or what I say).

1. Since it is a Mitzvah to spend our leisure time in the Sukkah, perhaps I could concentrate on the significance of “unity with diversity”, being accepting, welcoming and tolerant of others as a way to unite us all under the Sukkah of peace.

The idea and significance of unity is a great force in our tradition. When the Jewish people are united, we are much more powerful. When the world is united, the possibilities are endless.

Unity does not require giving up who one is, it requires our accepting who others are, and directing our mutual goals towards making the world a better, more unified place.

May the Al-mighty bless each us with his Sukkat Shalom, unity in purpose and brotherhood to all.

I look forward to seeing you all this Sukkot holiday!

So what great new things do we have “up our sleeve” for Sukkot?

First, on Sunday, October 16 @ 5:00 PM we are having our Annual TCS Sukkah Party & BBQ. We have a great show planned for the kids with a very special entertainer. As well, for the older kids (I mean adults!) we have a different entertainer.

As well, we have one of our famous BBQs and our famous Chef Kenny G will be on hand cooking up a storm. Come on by, bring your friends and have a great time in the Sukkah for a real family Sukkot party. Yes, if it rains everything will move inside (except we might not bring the BBQ inside!).

Simcha Torah is a day that the TCS really shines!

We start off with the greatest Children’s Hakafot late Thursday afternoon and it is followed by a show for the kids with Do Do the International Clown! Parents, stick around for a wonderful repast of hot food and (yes, it is almost here) the Annual, World Famous TCS Simcha Torah Auction! One thing for sure, the Auction is always exciting and the food has never been better.

Stick with us all day on Simcha Torah as we dance, celebrate, sing and party together. Then, on Friday night, join us for our Post-Simcha Torah Friday Night Dinner.

Sick of cooking?

So, treat yourself to the TCS Friday night dinner as Simcha Torah ends Friday night.

Although we have not had a bulletin for a few weeks (due to the holidays) I want to wish Mazal Tov to two of our members who have made special accomplishments.

First, Stuart Haber: Stuart has been named the National Director of Yeshiva University Canada. We wish him much Mazal in the new position and we know he will do really, really very well.

Then we wish a real Mazal Tov to our friend and member Pamela Bielak who is one of four very special women being honoured at Aish Toronto’s upcoming Gala Dinner. Pamela is an extraordinary person who has dedicated herself to her family and to the special charitable cause, “Crafting For A Cure”. She truly deserves this special honor and we all look forward to seeing her receive this special award.

As the High Holidays are drawing to a close this year, we have many, many people to thank for all of their efforts.
From the people who led, organized and arranged the beautiful prayer services, Torah readings and behind the scenes arrangements to the leaders of the High Holiday Experience, the High Holiday Committee, the Gabbaim, the Kiddush organizers.

The people who taught the classes, organized the rooms and gave Drashot and greeted people coming into the building, as well, played an important role.

The bottom line: Every volunteer made a significant difference. I can tell you that it would not be the same without any one of you. Thank you all very much.

We all know that whatever success our Shul and community finds it is due to the hard work and care of so many members who give so much to the community.

Our Women’s in-depth, text based class is off to a great start! It is starting again after Simcha Torah- so give it a try.

The Aish HaTorah Partner’s Conference is coming up in about six weeks. If you are interested, we would be glad to have you come. We do have some financial incentives to make it easier if you wish to attend. Ask me.

Well, my friend, it has been an amazing month together and there is more to come.

I really look forward to celebrating Sukkot with you, rain or no rain and Simcha Torah will be the pinnacle of it all.

See you soon!

Last Thoughts before the Trial

Wed, 28 Sep 2011 08:59:23 -0400

I am writing this just a few hours before the Days of Judgement arrive. Rosh HaShanah will be here when the sun sets and ready or not, that moment is imminent. After all of the planning, cleaning, preparing, writing, practicing and more so, introspection, self-evaluation and meditation the time is upon us. If you are anything like me, it makes no difference how well one plans, it still comes too quickly. If I only had one more day, even a few more hours would help, but it is what it is.

I have had the privilege to sit with many of you and discuss how we can commit to improve ourselves and I have to say these discussions humbled me. Having been in a position like the one I am in for a number of years, I have to say that I have never met people who seriously want to improve themselves to the extent many of our members and friends do.

It is not simply proper etiquette when I saw how special our community is. There is so much Chesed going on and it is all done so humbly and modestly. The Torah learning from entry level to high level Talmud learning is amazing, so many people learning regularly and filling so many classes is an amazing thing to see.

I think that it should be said how unified our community is. Most of the time people take it for granted, but the truth is that we shouldn't. A community whose members really do get along, respect each other and care for each other is something very special and, sadly, quite rare. One of the real strong points of the TCS community is how close our community is and at the same time, how welcoming it is.

Looking back over the past year our membership has much to be proud of. The chesed, the learning, the minyan participation are all indications of how special the TCS is. Add to that we have about twenty new family members this year and it becomes apparent how special our community really is.

I want to thank each of you for your volunteer activities, your participation and your involvement- from the Executive to the High Holiday Committee and from the Youth Leaders to the Chazanim- so many people do so very much- thank you all.

As we look forward, of course, we see the approaching days of judgement and it gives each of us pause. How will the new year be? Will we be healthy? Successful? Will everyone be employed? Will more healthy children be born? More Bar/Bat Mitzvot come of age?

We all have much to be appreciative for and equally, we all have much to pray for. Israel, the Jewish homeland, given to the Jewish people by Gd himself, is under great political pressure. The world seems to be turning away from supporting Israel. We, of course, must keep the land in our prayers as we seek a blessing filled year.

There are people among us who have had it quite difficult financially. Some have lost jobs and are for the first time in their life, unemployed. They need our assistance in prayer as well.

Some members are sadly, quite unwell. Some are greatly improving, others hang in the balance. Our care for them must push each of us to pray on their behalf. We pray for them to be healthy, we pray to alleviate their suffering and that of their families. The Al-mighty should send to them a quick and complete recovery this coming year.

There has been much political upheaval in the world this year and such change is often dangerous. We pray for a year of peace for all of us, for Israel and for the world.

As we stand together this Rosh HaShanah, just over one thousand strong, our united community must open its heart, feel the pain, worry and sadness of those in need, feel the urgency of the situation in Israel, understand fully that HaShem wants to cure the sick, help those in need, soothe the anxious, console the mourners- he truly does and he truly can.

He is opening the gate of prayer to us these days of judgement and all we really have to do and ask for what we need, what each other needs, what the world needs and he will provide.

The Talmud teaches us that when the Temple was destroyed those 2,000 years ago, many of the gates of prayer, ways of beseeching HaShem were closed to us. However, it states that the gate of tears is never closed. The famous and pithy Kotzker Rebbi asks, if the gate of tears is never closed, why does it need a gate at all? One only needs a gate if sometimes, even for a short while, the gate is closed. However, this gate, that of tears is never closed. Why then, do we need a gate in the first place?

The Rebbi answers quite wisely, the gate of tears needs to have a gate, because it does, in fact close. It closes for insincere tears, for unfeeling requests and prayers. Only true tears, truly feeling the pain of others and of one’s self can pass through the gate to the inner chamber of the Al-mighty.

That, my good friends, is our goal. Our community has much merit. Amazing Chesed, unbelievable amounts of Torah study, support, love and respect for each other- all amazing merits- we need to channel that merit, to open our heart, to allow ourselves to feel, to bleed a little for each other, for Israel and the world itself.

May we all merit the ability to feel, to really feel in the depths of our soul, to actualize those feelings into sincere and meaningful prayers to the Al-mighty this time of judgement. May the depth of feeling, of love, of care elevate our prayers into the inner most chamber of the Al-mighty and bring to each member, to each person the health, happiness, financial and spiritual growth that we want for each other and ourselves.

I close, this Erev Rosh HaShanah, with a prayer, that I, the chazanim, the teachers and leaders of our community will be able to touch each of you this holiday season and assist you in opening your heart, your soul in prayer thereby ensuring a year of bracha, success, peace, health and nachas for each of us. Together we can truly change the world, for in some ways, it really needs changing. The time is at hand- the time is now.

May we all, with our families and community, be blessed with a year filled with joy, health, parnassa, spiritual growth, nachas from our children and peace for Israel and the world.

The Rebbetzin & I look forward to spending this special time together with you all. May we be blessed to do so for many years together in the future, here and in Jerusalem!

L’Shana Tova

Rabbi Avram Rothman

Some important points to keep in mind………..

This Shabbat is Shabbat Teshuva. It is one of the three yearly Shabbatot that our community joins together and davens in the main minyan. We ask that everyone join us that day. All usual Shabbat classes will be held that morning, during and after Musaf.

At that Shabbat @ 5:20 PM the Rabbi will be delivering a special annual Drasha for Shabbat Teshuva. It is an age old custom for the Rabbi to speak words of Torah and inspiration on the Shabbat before Yom Kippur. All are encouraged to attend this annual event. Babysitting will be available. Mincha & Sholosh Seudot will follow the Drasha.

This Sunday, October 2 is the Fast of Gedalia., Shacharit is at 8:00 AM. The fast starts at 5:51AM and ends at 7:40 PM.

Community Tashlich will be held Sunday @ 11:00 AM at the Centre Street Duck Pond. This is located on the north side of Centre St and is between Atkinson & Yonge Streets. Rabbi Rothman will be giving a brief overview of Tashlich at that time. All welcome.

On Wednesday evening, October 5 @ 8:00 PM the TCS is holding a class given by Rabbi Mordechai Scheiner, Rosh Kollel of the Thornhill Community Kollel. The class is followed by a sale of lulavim and esrog. Rabbi Scheiner and Rabbi Rothman will be present to assist you in purchasing the best arba minim set, so join us for the class and sale. Proceeds benefit the Kollel & the TCS. Don’t get stuck with a lemon.

On Tuesday evening, October 4 @ 8:00 PM will be the second introductory class in the In-depth, Text based Torah class for women given by Elyssa Goldschmiedt. All women are welcome. There is no fee for this class. At this class a decision will be made as to what night and what time it will continue following the holidays.

If you have not reviewed our newly redesigned website, please take a moment or two to take a look. Your comments are always appreciated. Thornhillshul.com

Small Steps Add Up, One Inch at a Time

Thu, 22 Sep 2011 17:53:20 -0400

As we are just days away from Rosh HaShanah, I thought I would share with you some of the ideas I have been reviewing both to myself, as well as, to many of the people who have come in to meet with me privately.

The point is, the closer we get to Rosh HaShanah and the more we introspect and review how we have or have not lived up to the promises we made to ourselves last year, the more we discover how we have allowed ourselves to, sort of speak, fall asleep and slip back to the way we were, virtually forgetting the promises we made.

Alternatively, we discover that the commitments we made were actually much more difficult than we had anticipated and we just could not accomplish them. For example, we may have really meant that we will “not speak Lashon Hara” any more”, but to practically accomplish that is an enormous task for anyone.

Now, as we stand on the edge of this year and await the start of the new one, we realize that breaking habits, changing personality traits, concentrating on a particular area of improvement is very, very difficult. Perhaps, it is so difficult that it cannot be accomplished.

I believe that it is impossible for a person, any person, to make a change that requires a significant in character or lifestyle. One simply cannot be successful to expect to be able to fulfill a promise the “I will attend minyan every day, three times each day”, when, at present, the person is only going to minyan on occasion.

Similarly, for a person to promise that they will “never speak Lashon Hara again” is an unrealistic promise, especially if the person has not been working on this for a bit of time. One simply can not change themselves in such a drastic and significant manner.

Of course, the holidays come and we all become inspired and want to become the best person we can. We want to make giant commitments because we want to become such a person- we want to change, we want to change greatly and we want to change now.

Then, when we make a commitment and realize that we did not keep it, it depress us, we consider it a failure and we end up worse off than we were in the beginning.

How often do we find that we are inspired to act, to change and then discover that our emotional response caused us to make a commitment that was just too big to do?

You see, the problem is not that we are not inspired, we are. We are determined to improve. What we lack that causes us to fail again and again is the knowledge of what and how to make the commitment.

The Talmud says that there is nothing more difficult than to change a human character trait. It is true. However, it can be done, it just needs proper planning.

Here is the secret.

When one wants to change a personality trait, perhaps get angry less often or not speak lashon hora or learn more Torah or spend more time with the family- whatever positive and important improvement one wants to make it is not the commitment we need to change, it is the method.

If we decide what commitment we want to make we need to spend time to see how I can accomplish it and the way one can accomplish anything is to take small steps.

Rather than say “I will never say lashon hara” say, I commit to not say lashon hara every day from 9:00 until 10:00 AM. Believe me, if you think not speaking lashon hara for one hour a day- just try it.

Rather than say, “I am committed to go to Minyan every morning”, rather say, “I will go to Minyan one day each week”

Regardless of the trait you want to improve, take a small, finite- sort of “bite size” piece of it and commit to it. Are you concerned that it is so small that it wont make the change you want to make?

Well, if one takes a small commitment and accomplishes it and then each year adds to the commitment, over the course of a few years you will find that you actually accomplished a great deal.

If you commit to attend one minyan each week and each year or even twice a year you add to the commitment, after five years you will, for the most part, be going to every minyan every day.

The secret is to take accomplishable baby steps and integrating them into yourself. Then, add to the baby steps until they become giant steps over a few years.

Since we know that making a big commitment leads to failure and disappointment and making no commitment is true failure, then by taking small steps each year we will find that we not only fulfilled our commitment, we also slowly and firmly built up to accomplishing a major life changing improvement.

Many of the greatest Rabbis, men of amazing spiritual heights and discipline followed this method. They wanted to improve greatly, but they realized that to improve greatly, one must first improve slightly.

Give it a try, this year as we approach Rosh HaShanah instead of committing to change your entire life, pick one thing and simplify it and commit to do just that.

Sure, it is difficult- commit for too little and it is inconsequential, commit to too much and you fail- so if you need some discrete, private assistance in making that perfect commitment or just that perfect amount- write or call me and I am glad to privately and discretely meet with you and help make that step.

Just remember, taking baby steps leads to giant steps, taking giant steps leads to failure. Together we can make those small, relatively easy improvements and then together, over the next few years we can watch and see how we all develop into the successful, spiritually upwardly mobile person, growing and changing, but doing so in a planned, slow and determined manner.

It works, give it try and show yourself and HaShem himself how you can make a commitment to change, to improve and keep it.

This is the secret and as long as you can make the effort- it always works.

Go ahead, this Rosh HaShanah take the first, albeit, small baby step forward to becoming the person you want to be. It might take longer than you wanted, but you will be one step closer than you were!

Please allow me, from the bottom of my heart, to wish you and your family a healthy, successful, fulfilling and inspired new year! May you be blessed with everything you wish for.

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This Saturday night starts Selichot and as usual, the TCS is doing it with a great speaker and a special lecture. We welcome Rabbi Mordechai Torzyner who will speak about: “Tashlich: Why a River?” at 12:50 AM followed by brief Selichot. This is an important and age old custom and everyone is encouraged to attend.

Remember, on Sunday we have our Youth Department’s Family Apple Picking starting at 10:00 AM at the Country Apple Orchard, 3105 16th Side Road near King City. Come and have a great time getting apples for your “Apples & Honey”.
Our in-depth women’s text class this past Tuesday night was a great success. At the next class the students will decide what night and what time the class will continue after the holidays. The next class is on Tuesday, October 4 at 8:00 PM. This is a great opportunity for women to learn text in depth. Give it a try!

This week, at Sholosh Seudot we are welcoming both Rabbi Mordechai Torzyner, Rosh Beit Midrash of the YU Kollel, along with the newest member, Rabbi Ezra Goldschmiedt. It starts early so that we will have the time to hear the great things they have to say.

The TCS is joining forces with Kollel Ohr Yosef, the Thornhill Community Kollel in the selling of Lulav & Esrogs. Take a look at the flyer to see how to order your lulav & esrog in advance or attend the class advertised on the flyer. Support your Shul and get a great lulav & esrog.

Don’t forget to join us for
Tashlich on Sunday, October 2 at 11:00 AM.
Always an inspiring time with your friends at the TCS!

Did you look at our totally new, redeveloped website?

Go ahead, when you are at your computer (& it is not Shabbat) take a look at thornhillshul.com & let us know what you think!